Nutrition: The Way to a Happier Life

At Darkness Comes a lot is said about how much alcohol my friends can drink, or how much better my opinion is than those around me, but what’s not discussed is something very serious, eating healthy.  You have got to eat healthy!  You have got to take a multiple vitamin and drink some water for your health, because that’s important.  For example I eat very healthy…  To simplify it, you got three major food groups that really matter to the human body, your meats, your cheeses, and your sweets.  The body NEEDS these three to function at it’s most optimum.  For example I enjoy my meats and cheeses this way…

But we’re all not fortunate enough to eat this way, I understand not all of you can spend $4.98 on a healthy meal for one, we are after all in a recession.  So don’t think I’ve forgotten about you.  I too understand the needs of those less fortunate than I.  For example I found a very thrifty economist looking for his meats, his cheeses, and his sweets just the other evening, and by the looks of it he was doing just fine.

In those bags that this thrifty shopper was carrying was filled with his meats, his cheeses, and his sweets.  All were acquired at ROCK BOTTOM prices.  So that being said there is no excuse to not eat healthy.  America is one of the most out of shape and culturally insensitive country’s on the planet.  And we need to change this, Barack can’t just do it alone.  He’s like smokey the bear, only YOU can’t prevent mass unhealthiness among the American people, if every person put fourth one small iota of effort to make sure everyone got their meats, their cheeses, and their sweets, we’d be far better off.  For example I’m sure most of you have $1.39 to pick up one of these for those less fortunate.

SPICY BIG DAD may not be the most grammatically correct name for a meat, a sweet, but it does have the two most important food sectors right in one healthy plastic shrink wrapped tube.  Can you guess what those are?  That’s right, your meats, your sweets, all ready to by mashed into pieces by your skeleton, and forced down your gullet.

Now let’s talk fast food, real fucking fast food.  When I’m feeling low on energy I walk the 25 feet to a fast food establishment under the BQE (cardio workout right there) and get my meats, my cheeses, and my sweets for all under $3.45 depending on how many Monopoly pieces I have, and I just so happen to have a few at my disposal.

Instant win indeed, and those right there are your sweets.  Exactly one half bag of sugar is in a small frappe, and that’s your daily requirement for your sweets.  Your meats will have to be paid out of change that you found on the street, but it’s a small price to pay when it’s free.  Eating healthy is free.

After you’ve cashed in your crust change, Monopoly pieces, your pride, you then can feel free to relax in how healthy you are, and how you’re supporting Americas economy.  Remember, this recession wont go away unless we all do our part.  And that mainly means eating your meats, your cheeses, and your sweets, and supporting the small business owner.

Eat heathy, and save money.

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